It’s my mum’s 88^th birthday today. It’s a super special birthday on many levels. My mum is super-duper special to me. 88 is a grand old age to get to. 88 is an auspicious number. In Chinese it means fortune and luck. As my mum is a quarter Chinese, she will receive abundant blessings of good fortune and luck. Yay!

To me, this is an especially super special birthday because of my mum’s deteriorating health. Who knows what next year will hold or not? I decided on a week of presents for her, Monday to Monday, leading up to today. Not an easy endeavour considering my mum is no longer keen on even her one-time sure to bring a smile-to-the-face cleaning up detergent and kitchen towels, toilet rolls and tissue paper. She’s also lost interest in food. As an aside, for her 80^th birthday, I did a gift a day for 80 days. That was quite an enterprise. This year, I was the recipient of 60 days of prezzies, not just one but many big and small ones each day, for my 60^th birthday. Thanks to my husband, who went to town for me, and back.

I knew it was going to be a challenging week. Hence, I made a considered decision to make it fun for me and my mum. Otherwise, what’s the point. I thought of foods that she would still likely enjoy. I did a bit of sleuthing. I tossed some ideas to her. Triggers that might whet her appetite. My mum was/is never one to desperately want to eat this food or that dessert. Until about 3 years ago, she would cook and bake copious amounts of food for the family. Yes, she didn’t get the memo on small portions or cooking for one or two people. She loves to feed us but has never been overly enthusiastic about eating any particular kind of food. Even with her failing memory, the invariable question she asks is whether I’ve eaten and what was it I had.  

Thankfully, my mum was receptive to ‘Payasam’ – a pudding of sorts. I know my mum has always liked ‘Payasam’ – the ‘Moong Dal with suji or semolina and semia or vermicelli’ variety. I’ve never made ‘Payasam’ before (why would I?) but I was going to give it a go if she wanted it. Not only did she want it, she asked if it will come with ‘Vada’ as in ‘Vada Payasam.’ My immediate reaction was to laugh. Part of me was happy that she was excited and the other part was terrified. I immediately asked my mum for her recipe but after a while of trying, I knew I wasn’t compiling anything coherent.  

To Google, I went. There were far too many ‘Payasam’ recipes. But none of them (at least all the sites that I visited) contained my mum’s three ingredients in one recipe. For instance, the ‘Moong dal Payasam’ had sago or coconut bits while the ‘Vermicelli Payasam’ had condensed milk. What to do? I found a ‘Payasam’ recipe that had 3-headings of ingredients that I chopped and changed.

Heading one was to pressure cook the ‘Moong dal.’ Instead, I cooked the ‘Moong dal’ in a pot on my induction cooker top, and stick-blendered it. Under the heading for ‘Payasam,’ I replaced sago with semolina. In the third heading for roasting, I used vermicelli instead of raisins, which my mum doesn’t like. And, added loads of cashews. Then I searched for a ‘Vada’ recipe. Viewed the process on YouTube. Shopped for ingredients. I also consulted sister number 3, who is the family chef extraordinaire. She could probably cook the ‘Vada Payasam’ in her sleep. Me, I needed guidance and divine intervention. Next on my food list was ‘Upma.’ Yes, ‘Upma’ that my mum had patiently showed me how to cook several months ago. I wasn’t too worried about ‘Upma.’ I sort of had it in the bag having prepared it a few times before. Happily, my mum had ‘Upma’ for dinner last Thursday, and for breakfast on Friday. She had ‘Vada Payasam’ for Saturday tea. Tepid response.

In addition, I gave my mum a few small presents to open every day. Monday was a kitchen roll. Tuesday – two Good Maid detergents, Wednesday – a huge clock as she was reading time in reverse, Thursday – a bowl and plate set, Friday – drinking cups and a side plate to place her spoons, Saturday – a nail cutter plus nail cutting services, Sunday – toothbrush holders, and Monday – 2 t-shirts, card/money, ‘Dhal and Chana masala,’ and a vegetarian suji cake.

For her milestone 80^th birthday, my family, came from all corners, to celebrate it at Annalaksmi in Brickfields with a huge and wonderfully delicious suji birthday cake. My homemade suji cake will be cut at tea time today.

Happy 88^th Birthday, Botyma.