It’s August 2022.  A year on and my mum is coming along as well as can be expected. I am super grateful.

This time last year, my mum’s health took a turn. It all began after she had fallen off her queen-sized bed on 10 August. As she sat on the floor at the foot of her bed, she explained what had happened. She appeared fine but she wasn’t. A week later, brain and abdominal scans revealed some disturbing developments. My mum’s Ejection Fraction (EF) had plummeted to 28% in August, 2021 That was the most worrying. Covid-19 had unwittingly resulted in an almost 2-year hiatus in visits to her cardiologist and respiratory doctor. The brain scan showed some opacity but no injuries, no internal bleeding. The abdominal and pelvic scan revealed a cyst in the right kidney and the narrowing of the sigmoid colon in the large intestine.

Those were the facts. Worrying as they were, it was the change in her personality and physical appearance that were more disturbing. Quiet. Confused. Distant. Disinterested. In most everything. Food, conversation and even her Tamil soaps. She wanted the television to be switched off. She stared vacantly. Slept a lot but sleep was disruptive. With flailing arms, and dreams that felt real. Physically, her face was a little bloated. Double eye-lids. Familiar yet not.

August, September and October were difficult months on many levels. Looking after my mum was a test of love, caring, understanding, patience, heartache and sadness. The first four were easier. The second two not so. It was painful and sad to see my mum in that condition.  And, more sadness when my father-in-law passed away in August. October, the palliative team came on board. Finally, some expert guidance.  Apart from the heart failure and Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), my mum’s thigh and abdomen were swollen. Fluid retention was literally weighing her down. A 3-day program of diuretics and a fast-acting tranquilizer helped reduce fluid weight and enhance sleep quality.  

November. Although the distension on the right side of my mum’s abdomen was still evident, she was starting to feel and look slightly better. Sister number 3 arrived on Deepavali eve. Her lively and caring disposition, and cooking made for a positive difference. We knew and accepted that our mum’s EF and COPD will not magically recover. Cough, phlegm, fever, infection, and 24/7 dependence on an oxygenator were/are a part of her life. December was encouraging. She rode the condo lift on a wheelchair with sister number 3 to attend Christmas lunch. She hadn’t visited my husband and me since my birthday in March. 

January. Our mum terrified us by not waking up for a good 11 minutes. She was diagnosed with a possible stroke, also referred to as Cerebral Vascular Accident (CVA). A CVA or brain attack is an interruption in the flow of blood to cells in the brain. When the cells in the brain are deprived of oxygen, they die. Ironically, when she eventually woke up, she was annoyed with sister number 3, me and her palliative doctor, for interrupting her sleep. Same month, she began to experience poor appetite, itchiness, sweating and constipation. In February, her potassium levels rose. An indication of an impaired kidney. She was given Kalimate to treat it. Sister number 4 arrived from Australia to care for our mum, and relieve sister number 3, who had already extended her stay 3 times. She went home after four months on 1 March. 

March continued with incidents of cough, phlegm and itchiness. Laxative, nebulizer, and camomile lotion became part of her regime. In April, she was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease (CKD) – a possible contributor to her pruritus or itchy skin. Sister number 4 returned home. In May, the occurrences of cough, phlegm, infection and itchiness exacerbated with episodes of chest pain and discomfort in the sacral region or the area near the bottom of the spine. More medicines were added to address new and/or recurring issues.

Sister number 2 arrived from Australia in June. Blood tests again revealed heightened potassium levels. Kalimate was prescribed for the second time. Simultaneously, the old girl was suffering from cough, phlegm, fever and infection. Sister number 1 arrived from England. Together, they cared for our mum. Both sisters have since returned home. In July, there was a slight reduction in the incidences of cough and phlegm. But, breathlessness from exertion continued due to her weakening heart and COPD.  In August, Kalimate was prescribed for the third time.

The cycle of cough, phlegm, fever, infection, itchiness, breathlessness, pain, fluctuating fluids in the lungs and abdomen, high potassium levels and constipation is our mum’s new normal. Through it all, particularly after last October, she has been and is alert, chatty, curious, hopeful and helpful, whenever she can. Our tiny trooper continues to defy perceptions and predictions. Yay!