I used to buy into overrated, and sometimes pointless, waste of money things. Younger and gullible, I believed/half-believed the hype and marketing. Still gullible but a little less so now. I accept that people place different importance on different things in life. No judgement.

Me, I will no longer book with Airbnb and operators of private holiday homes. Recent local and foreign experiences put paid to that. The accommodations aren’t cheap. Sometimes equal to or more expensive than hotels/resorts. They don’t include a buffet breakfast but a long list of do’s and don’ts. They don’t include turndown or cleaning services but threats of a hefty cleaning bill, just in case. Yes, just in case guests like my husband and I decide to have a wild party. I cannot reconcile paying loads of money, and having to tidy up and take out the rubbish, as well.

I understand homeowners are proud of their homes. They wouldn’t want guests to dirty or damage their property. Who does? Maybe, I am naïve but who books these accommodations with the intention of trashing them. Secondly, for all intents and purposes, these are rental properties, and guests pay high rents for the privilege. The rent is an income and can/should cover cleaning/maintenance. Thirdly, instituting a cleaning fee or a ‘Good Housekeeping Bond’ is clear warning to guests to not even think of accidentally breaking or leaving any mess behind. It isn’t in good faith. It isn’t inviting. Review: no star.

I would still book directly with private home owners, when/where available, as they are more personal and accommodating. We were greeted with the wafting aroma of warm brownies, bread, and milk at a chapel we stayed in. And, a basket of local meat, sausages, bread, and wine at our tree house. The generous touches made us feel welcomed. We felt satisfied that we had made the right choice. Clearing up a little before we left was not an issue. Review: 5 star-plus.

There are two wedding venues where we live. Both are busy all year. There were weddings even during the pandemic. Masks on, and social distancing (not really). Grand table settings for the wedding reception. Music. Photographers. Videographers. Valet parking. Guests aplenty. A long list of costs. Plus the bride’s wedding gown. The groom’s wedding suit. Rings and jewellery. Bridesmaids’ and groomsmen’s outfits. Wedding planner plus pre-wedding photography.

Getting hitched is expensive business. In Malaysia, the average cost of weddings is between RM50,000 to RM200,000 (not inclusive of the honeymoon). The biggest expense is the wedding reception. It takes up 45% to 50%, and includes venue cost, food and catering, beverages… it would cost between RM27,000 to RM36,000 to host 300 guests at a restaurant.[1]’

I like weddings. The question is whether the expenses are worth it? For a typically one day event. That said, my parents had a three-day wedding ceremony in 1948. My husband and I had a civil ceremony at the PJ National Registration Department in 1997. Followed by lunch. Hosted by my dear mum for the newlyweds – moi and husband, brother number 1 and nephew number 4, who was then 2 years old, and brother number 2 and his girlfriend at Holiday Villa Subang ( it has since closed). In the evening, we had prayers and blessings at the Sri Sakthi Easwari Temple in SS3 with my mum and brother number 1. And, disco, yes, disco night with 4 friends at ‘The Jump’ along Jalan Tun Razak (it too has since closed).

We then headed off to England. There was a party organised by my husband’s family for family (including sisters’ number 1 and 3) and friends. I remember dancing at the hall, and sitting on the floor board of an overcrowded car to a friend’s house or something like that. When we returned home, my mum, again, hosted a pool party (our condo had a nice pool) for family, university and work mates. I was so touched that I kept the receipt from the caterer, The Little Big Caterer, as a keepsake.

Another question. Who bears the costs? Bride and groom? Parents of the bride or groom or both? Could the costs be better used? For a down payment on a starter home, a car, or a holiday? I think its fine to splurge for the big day if the family and/or persons involved have savings or inheritance, and do not borrow or resort to formal/informal loans. My 2 cents.

Expensive food and/or ingredients. Perhaps it is my unrefined palate but I cannot bring myself to pay the price tag for Kobe Beef, Beluga Caviar, White Truffles or Kopi Luwak Coffee. Kopi Luwak Coffee is made from coffee beans eaten and excreted by Asian palm civets… and a cup of coffee can cost a whopping US$100[2].

Overrated, yes. To each his/her own.