It’s my husband’s birthday today. We are celebrating the special day at Tanjung Jara resort. One of our top five favourite places for special occasions.

Sitting on a verandah in a chalet built over a small river with fish and monitor lizards. Not on a balcony on the 30th floor of a condominium block. Looking out at the unobstructed view of the South China Sea. No tall buildings enveloping and obscuring our vision. Sandy beach and clean, breathable air. No greenhouse emissions from air conditioners and vehicles. Spacious and relatively quiet. No dodging crowds of people, especially in and around KLCC. All very nice. There is even a kingfisher, and other little heron type birds searching for food near our chalet.

As an aside, I spell verandah with a ‘h’ because that’s what I’ve always known it to be, and probably that’s how I was taught it. This made me laugh. “It’s usually spelled “veranda,” but spell it with the h if you’re in a Jane Austen novel (the reference made me feel instantly old or rather ancient). Verandah. In the US, veranda (without the “h”) has been standard since the 1850s, but British English kept the “h” for about 100 more years. .. It comes from the Hindi veranda…”[1]

My husband likes quiet birthdays, away from home. Not no fuss but not too much. This year, his wish is mostly being met. It is quiet. He did not want decorations. I half complied. I put up some lights and ‘Happy Birthday’ banners. In my birthday playbook, no birthday should go unobserved. Presents plus at least a few acknowledgements of the celebration are a must-have. After all, it was an important arrival date that was longed for and celebrated by parents to-be, and their families. It was special then. And, it is special now. Or so I think.

Gratefully, we have had many quiet and away from home birthday celebrations. And, they have almost always been relaxing and enjoyable. The idea of an impending holiday, and an actual change in scenery, place, and pace are the magic ingredients. To switch the mind and body from work or home mode to holiday mode. Viola. From stressed to less stressed, laidback, and jovial beings, at least for the duration.

Looking back, I have celebrated 27 of my husband’s birthdays with him, every year since we got together, bar one. I remember them all fondly. One of my favourites was the first birthday that I shared with him in Manila. He came to work in Asia on a two-year contract. And, we began to build a friendship/relationship. Like courting but that would sound like something out of a Jane Austen novel 🙂 To rephrase. The plan was to level up from good friends to girlfriend and boyfriend. ‘Then, see how…’ as we Malaysians would say. Expectedly, there were expensive phone calls via landlines before cheap phone cards and WhatsApp, commuting between KL and Manila, and careful planning around our respective work commitments so we could spend time and important occasions in the same country.

Manila was still new to me. After a bit of sleuthing, I picked a restaurant. Arranged a meal during his lunch break. What sold me was the presence of an in-house pianist at lunch time. Yes, really. I worked out the details with the restaurant manager, who was rather helpful. On cue, just as we waited for our dessert to be served, the twinkling tunes of ‘Happy Birthday’ was played on the piano. There was a curious look on my now husband’s face. It turned into a big smile as he heard and saw waiters carry a chocolate cake with candles in his honour. I was so pleased that he was genuinely surprised.  A Kodak moment in my head. I had no camera. No mobile phone to capture the moment. Actually, I’ve never owned a camera in my life. Why? I have no interest in cameras. Photos, I take on a need for basis. Selfies, I avoid as much as possible.

Another memorable birthday involved an apple pie. I baked one. It was my first attempt at baking, and the birthday boy enjoyed it. Success. Yay. It was 2017. I remember it well. We didn’t go away as his birthday fell on Deepavali eve. We did dinner at the Hyatt, and discovered five other people shared the same birthdate. Yes, we heard Happy Birthday sung five times with cake.

Last year was difficult on many levels. For the first time, I wasn’t with my husband for his birthday. He returned home for his dad’s funeral. I stayed home because my mum’s health was precarious. Presents and cards, I couriered.

While it’s less easy to buy one-off presents and create surprises as we get older, I get a lot of fun in the thinking, planning and presenting. Particularly as he’s worth it. Happy Birthday, babe.