Deepavali came and went last Sunday. It was the most low key in recent years. Even my mum, who looks forward to and gets excited to this one festival in a whole series of Indian celebrations each year, was reticent. This despite the presence of sister number 3, the family’s in-house chef, who returned home from England for Deepavali, as promised. She too was less than enthusiastic.

The focus was on brother number 1. He was in and out of hospital the last two weeks leading up to Deepavali. We, I, didn’t know what to do or expect.  After intravenous and oral antibiotics for an infection in the lungs, and a gamut of medicines, a doctor from the oncology team agreed to discharge him on Thursday, two days before Deepavali. To give him a 14-day reprieve at home. So that he can be with his wife and two children, and other family members. And, to celebrate Deepavali at home.

Brother number 1 was elated, as was all of us. He had actually wanted to go home on the same day he was transported in an ambulance, and admitted with a scarily high temperature of 41°C and an alarming pulse rate of over 180. The hospital stay was a given. He obviously needed round-the-clock medical help and observation. That said, a hospital is not a place to rest or get rest, although you are in bed, most of the time. I know that for a fact from my previous two admissions in hospital. 

It certainly was the case for brother number 1. He was placed in the Red Zone Critical Care ward. An open plan ward, with three equally or more critically-ill patients, separated by screens for privacy. The ward was in full view of the nurses’ station so as to enable the 8 -10 medical staff to monitor and provide immediate attention and care as and when needed. A definite upside. The other sides were constant noise, chatter, movement, telephone rings, door-bell dings each time the ward door opened, and bright lights. The regular checks on brother number 1’s vitals, saline and blood transfusions, changing of catheters, dispensing of medicines, and delivery of meals etc., etc. Understandable situation and requirements. But interruptions, nonetheless, that disrupted rest and any semblance of sleep. Which was further compounded by brother number 1’s own pain, discomfort, lack of privacy and creature comforts.

Hence, the greenlight for the discharge couldn’t have come earlier or been timed better. Brother number 1 was raring to go home. Sometimes, medicines work better when you are with the people who genuinely love and care for you. Sometimes, recovery might be quicker in a homey environment where you are more comfortable and freer.

Brother number 1 is undeniably unwell and frail. He has good days and bad days. The fluctuations are worrying. I visited him at his home on the Friday before his temperature and heart rate spiked on Saturday, the day he was admitted. We had a chat and a laugh, and he seemed reasonably well. We spoke about our first cars. My first car, a Ford Escort Ghia 1.6, that he helped test drive and buy from one of the many second-hand car dealerships that used to be located in Old Klang Road. It was a tank of a car. Heavy with an almost impossible to engage reverse gear. We had a laugh when I recounted the many times I drove forward until I got to a traffic light, junction or roundabout to turn right, left, around and back to my actual destination because I couldn’t reverse. And, no Waze to boot.

Brother number 1 also asked if our mum could come to him for Deepavali this year. I wasn’t immediately sure as a few considerations had to be addressed. Amongst them were our mum hadn’t left her condominium since August 18. 2021. She’s on an oxygenator 24×7, and has her fair share of health issues. Although unsure and a little afraid, our mum agreed to do the trip. My husband and I, and sister number 3 discussed logistics for the journey.

In the interim, from Thursday to Saturday, sister number 3 made Indian cakes – ‘muruku,’ ‘nai orundu,’ ‘suji orundu,’ ‘halwa’ and ‘paitaorundu.’ She also single-handedly cooked chicken, prawn and lamb curries, and vegetables dishes. Packed and sent the food off to brother number 1 and family for the Deepavali eve evening prayer. On Deepavali day, brother number 1 visited our mum. It took a lot of energy and effort on his part but he did it. Kudos to him. While the mood was generally subdued – our mum, brother number 1 and all of us – were grateful to be together to celebrate/acknowledge Deepavali 2023.

As brother number 1 recovers at home, I pray he will get stronger and healthier and will have good days, every day.