I cannot forget that profile. Youngish, probably in his early twenties. An almost innocent face. Innocent, he was not.

Why, I asked? Too many times. What did I do to him? I played back the route that I had taken in my head. No accidents. No stalled vehicles. Nothing unusual. The early morning traffic was busy but smooth flowing.

It was in Jalan Bangsar near the Bangsar LRT station that a Perodua Kancil, a small five-door hatchback, cut in front of me. The driver then drove across to the far right of the four-lane road. I thought, at the time, what an idiot to drive so recklessly. First to cut off without any notice. Then to drive all the way to the other side of the road. I thought the driver did that because he (yes, he) wanted to turn left into Jalan Maarof in Bangsar.

I continued my journey along Jalan Bangsar towards Jalan Pantai Baharu. I half noticed what looked like the same stunt-driver’s silver Perodua Kancil when I stopped at a traffic light to my intended destination. When the traffic light changed green, that car was at my passenger side. I’m not sure how he got there so fast. Deliberately and purposely, he slammed into the passenger door of my car. Instinctively, I turned and looked at him. He made no eye contact. I saw his face/profile. An Indian man, for sure. He drove off as quickly as he had banged into my car, across the road.

It happened in what seemed like fast motion. My head was reeling. I was furious. I cursed him. What a nasty piece of !%*?!&. I hoped he would get his comeuppance. Soon, and in many folds. I stopped my car. Wrote down his number plate. Cursed him some more. Why? That was the question foremost on my mind? There was no altercation between him and me. No exchange of words. No flashing headlights. No hand gestures. Nothing at all. I was taken by surprise. He followed, waited and struck swiftly. It was totally premeditated. What an absolutely evil driver!

What to do? He was long gone. Do I report him? A police report must be made within 24 hours. I had my reservations because some years ago my husband and I were travelling along Jalan Gasing when a motorcyclist knocked into the side of our car. I tried to report the incident to the police but didn’t pursue it mainly because the questions asked were rather unrelated to the accident. I considered my priority for the day. I drove to Pantai Hospital for my appointment.

I was still angry. I could not get that profile/face out of my head. And, I could not stop asking myself why. Why indeed? I did my morning tasks – medicines, toilet and shower – for my mum. Arranged with Kalyani to start her shift earlier. All to avoid rushing and stress. I drove steadily. I didn’t honk. I didn’t flash the headlights. I was, however, doing relaxation exercises that included smiling widely.

Could that have offended him? Surely not. Could he have mistaken my smiles as an affront to him, and his bad driving? No. He couldn’t have seen me. I saw nothing of his face. My husband, when I related my encounter to him, dismissed the idea that the driver could have seen me in his rearview mirror, and taken ‘the smiling’ as provocation. He suggested mistaken identity or mistaken car. Maybe… Honest to God, smiling was the only thing I did while I was driving.

While waiting at the hospital, I Googled to find out options available to me. I keyed in, ‘What to do when someone intentionally knocks into your car.’ At first, I thought I was using the wrong search words. I was looking for answers/solutions and/or justice as I felt I was wronged, which I was. The stories that popped up were mostly about road rage and road bullying cases in Malaysia. I was alarmed by the actions/reactions of ‘irked’ motorists towards other drivers.

What is road rage or road bullying? “Verbal insults, curses and threats, yelling and honking, rude and offensive gestures, throwing objects or striking another vehicle, aggressive and dangerous driving: tailgating, blocking, brake checking, ramming, sideswiping, or forcing a driver off the road [1].”  I realised I was a victim of a road bullying and/or a road rage incident. In my case, the evil road bully acted stealthily, no confrontation and did a hit-and-run on me.

After reading the cases, and ways to deal with road rage and road bullies, I eventually decided not to follow through. Its not fair. Its not right. Its also not worth spoiling my peace of mind. Naturally, I still feel angry when I think of what happened to me, and my car.

But… sometimes its better to let it go.