My fingers took the biggest hit. Neck, next. Ribs. Then, all my bones.

I’m not sure which came first. Me waking up before the pain or the pain waking me up. Whichever. It was excruciating. I couldn’t bend my fingers. I couldn’t extend my fingers. Both actions were painful.

It was dark so I knew it wasn’t Friday morning yet; the week of my birthday. I needed to use the bathroom. It was then I realised I couldn’t open the bathroom door. I had to use both my hands to push the lever down, and hold it so it didn’t snap back and make too much noise. 

I had very little control of my fingers. It was difficult to turn the tap on and wash my hands. The water touching my fingers/hands hurt. I walked to the kitchen, switched on the lights to check on my fingers. They were swollen but not much more than usual.

My fingers continued to hurt. My neck hurt. It was less hard to turn left than it was right. Moving my head was difficult. Exhaling deeply pained my ribs. My fingers were useless. I couldn’t lift up my flask, unscrew it to drink hot water. I had to use both hands. Nothing that I did without thinking and for granted, I could do that morning, without pain and effort. Fear overwhelmed me as there is no real cure for arthritis. Only management.

I sat on my sofa chair, sad and scared. My head was all over the place. Is this it? I wished my fingers to go back to what they were. Normal and functioning. And, the pain… how do I stop the gnawing and constant throb? I thought of sister number 3, who has Rheumatoid arthritis, and how her fingers are always swollen. The hardships she has. She used to drape her fingers/feet in wax to minimise/stop the swelling and pain. I remembered my mum’s gnarled fingers. I thought of my friend, who has severe and debilitating arthritis.

I couldn’t understand the overnight change in my condition. I went to bed alright and woke up not alright at all. Why and now? What could have brought this on? I’ve been doing right by me. For over three months, I’ve been generally eating healthy. Protein at each meal and strength training at least twice a week.

From experience, the usual suspect is my diet. What I eat affects my overall well-being, literally from head to toe. Apart from the four slices of cake I had on Monday to celebrate my birthday, I’ve had healthy food. At Mangala Estate, I had three breakfasts of avocado toasts with mozzarella cheese and poached eggs, and green juice made of kale, spinach, apple, and mint. Nuts for lunch and fish, vegetable, and rice for dinner.

My diet couldn’t have been better. Despite that my tummy played up on Wednesday. It happened after the two tall glasses of green juice; I had with breakfast. A tad too much for my belly capacity. So, I stuck to fruits only for dinner. I was still bloaty on Thursday but had nuts and sardine during the day, and ‘ketupat’ donut for dinner. And Friday, well… things didn’t look so good for me. My husband speculated that not having anything other than the ‘ketupat’ donut for dinner might be a factor. Quite honestly, we had no idea what caused the stiffness.

Consulting a doctor was not a consideration as I had only just seen a specialist in January. Instead, I Googled. I learnt that what I had was probably a flare-up.  I know what flare-up means but I didn’t know to associate it with my overnight change in condition. A few of the more common causes of a flare-up are overdoing an activity and injuring a joint, repetitive movements, an infection like a cold or flu, stress, and cold weather. I ruled out most of the causes, and deliberated on a possible infection as I did feel cold enough to wear a cardigan, in hot Malaysia. What infection? From where/whom?

I also learnt how to recognise possible signs of a flare-up, which include a dull pain in the joints or daytime sleepiness over several days.  

And, what was really good to learn was flare-ups can be treated or made less bad. Rest was one way. But not not move completely. Gentle stretches and walking were recommended to help with the stiffness. Hot and cold therapies. Heat around the joints boosts blood flow and relaxes muscles. I bought hot patches from the pharmacy, which helped a lot. Others were acupuncture, which I tried once but didn’t quite work for me, and capsaicin cream, a lotion that’s made with chilli pepper. Important note on the lotion is to wash hands thoroughly after use.

My flare-up lasted for about two days. Fear of a recurrence niggles. What to do?