I have managed to get to my fifties; grateful for living and remembering more happy days than not. I am happy with my personal life, and content with my reasonably successful professional achievements.  All my organs function, not at full capacity, but they work ok, and my limbs are intact and allow me mobility. I am blessed to have a good husband, and a close-knit family that love and care for me. I have enough friends that I like spending time with. And, I enjoy my own company, which is an added bonus. I don’t think I need or want for more.

I am not sure if grateful, thankful and blessed mean the same thing or are a little or very different in definition. Or if all three are equal to being lucky. Whatever, I am all three.

I am also grateful, thankful and blessed because in my lifetime, I have not seen war on my doorstep or backyard, not yet anyway, fingers crossed. My grandparents and my parents lived through the Japanese occupation in the then Malaya. The experience left indelible scars and memories on the people who survived those terrible times. When my mum talks about the uncertain, harrowing years, there is always regret in her voice as she had to stop-short her education, which of course, affected the direction her life took, thereafter. Food being scarce, tapioca and sweet potatoes featured often during meals.  Devoid of peace, there was a constant sense of fear as people, whom she knew and knew of, were detained, taken away and sometimes disappeared altogether.

I know, we Malaysians, have our share of problems  –  rising costs of living especially in urban areas, wage issues, unemployment and housing shortage etc., but there is still more to be thankful for than not.  We do have peace, security, political stability and economic growth, albeit, a little slower. At least we are on track to, hopefully, a more efficient, accountable and better governed government led by leaders with integrity and the people’s interest at heart.

I am also grateful, thankful and blessed because I do not have a debilitating disease and have not been hospitalised for long periods of time. I have osteoarthritis, osteoporosis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and bronchiectasis. The last disease on my portfolio was a result of the Tasmanian flu that I, unfortunately, caught after a wonderful holiday in the southern island state of Australia. The flu resulted in eight months of protracted bouts of colds, coughs, fever and general malaise. The coughs were so bad that I gagged, choked and had difficulty breathing due to obstruction of the windpipe or larynx. I was finally diagnosed with bronchiectasis after many x-rays, scans, tests that included allergy tests and hospitalization. My fingers and back hurt because of my weak bones, I have to be careful what I eat as my stomach reacts badly to a lot of food, and I have to avoid pollutants to prevent recurring respiratory infection. I have good and not-so-good days, but I generally feel fine, which is what matters.

I am also grateful, thankful and blessed because I did not lose family and loved ones at a very young age. My mum lost her dad when she was five years old. It was hard on my grandma as she was pregnant with my third aunty at the time. My grandma, through her own enterprise and strength of character, (this was in the 1930’s to 1960’s) brought up and supported her three girls into adulthood, and got them married off. My grandma and mum lived lives that were interesting, sad, courageous and scary, at times. While it’s never easy to lose a parent, I was 24 when my dad passed away. I was grown-up and independent, and was able to comfort and take care of my mum, which was and is very important to me.

I am also grateful, thankful and blessed that I have not been a victim of attacks or suffered as a result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Many years ago, my family and I experienced a robbery, a fire and recurring floods. Although not much was taken from us from the robbery, the knowledge that an intruder or intruders have been through our things was unnerving. As for the fire, I remember we packed and moved our belongings to safety, as we watched the fire raze. Two other things that I remember was my brother was in crutches from a fractured ankle, and as big and close as the fire appeared to be, it spared our home. As a child, I don’t recollect the floods as a particularly bad thing. Each time it rained heavily, the kitchen, which was built much lower than the main house, turned into a shallow pool on which we sailed paper boats and splashed about with our feet. It was dirty water but it was fun. Not so for my mum as the kitchen had to be cleared and cleaned up each time it occurred.

Every day and everywhere, there are so many cases of assault, abuse, burglary, fraud, human trafficking, terrorism and wars. It’s difficult to reconcile why and how people do the things they do to their fellow human beings, but they do and some with impunity. Then, there are plane crashes, ferries and boat tragedies, collapsed bridges and natural disasters that take away lives, suddenly, from their loved ones.

Life is relative. We all have our share of ups and downs, although some of us seem to have it easier or worse than others. I don’t know what cards we draw, and how we determine or how destiny defines our lives. All I know is despite the drizzle or downpour, I am grateful, thankful and blessed with my little lot in life.