I was instantly happy-smiley when I saw the sunrise as I drew my bedroom curtain. Golden shades of orange and yellow illuminated the sky. It was a near perfect morning. I see this glorious scene, many mornings, from my east-facing windows. I feel happy-smiley, and then I… stop.

My husband and I live in a condominium in the city centre. Good location. Easy access to most things – restaurants and amenities. We even get to watch the fireworks display at KLCC from our balcony. Nice. BUT… it’s also located amidst the constant, disruptive sounds of construction, and cacophony of sirens and honking of traffic. The heat and pollution from the flow of vehicles and whirring of air-conditioners are tangible.

The other but … is Covid-19. It has and continues to be a major dampener. A fun-leech. Not much I can do about it apart from following whatever Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs) that are in place, and hope that vaccination for all will be the panacea to this global scourge. Travel and meetings with family and friends will resume, and life will be ‘normal’ like before the pandemic. Another but … are politics and the economy. Not much I can do about that two either. No control or say on decisions that flip, flop, and flop again. Apparently, they are made for the good of the country and me. The fourth big but … is people. Not much I can do about them either. In fact, I really don’t understand why, what and how people think and act. I guess to be fair, most people probably feel and think that of most other people.

What to do? I sat myself down. Told myself to stop talking and stressing about the buts … situations and people that I have no control or powerless over. Lots of angst and a waste of time. Move on and focus on what I can control, have and can do.

I do have control. At least in my little world. I am, after all, the boss of me. I decide what to do each day. Write, read, think, exercise, cook, choose what to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner, care/spend time with my mum, watch Netflix and shop. I can choose to eat chocolate for lunch, which I do. I chose to learn how to cook Indian food for my mum, which I do. Naturally, there are chores that need attending to. I can postpone or skip one or two if I don’t feel like it. A few dust balls near the edges of the bed can be vacuumed and mopped up later by Dee, our personal robot. Admittedly, the daily activities can be and are somewhat repetitive. It does become a routine. But and this is a good but… it’s my routine to keep or change.

I and/or we can decide to eat in or go for dinner at SOP abiding restaurants (no more dine-ins or inter-district/state travel since the latest Movement Control Order (MCO) 3.0 kicked in on May 7). Go for walks in the KLCC park (when it’s not inundated with people) and walk along the roads during the weekdays. Explore further afield to places like Taman Titiwangsa, Lake Gardens and Taman Tugu at the weekends, when there are fewer cars traversing the streets. Take a drive or go for a holiday within the allowed boundaries. So far, we’ve had staycations in Kuala Kubu Baru (a hideaway in the forest) and Kerling (a farm stay). Sekinchan, a homestay in a container amongst padi fields, was booked for May 6/7. Didn’t happen as MCO 3.0 was announced. Never mind.

I am grateful to have family and friends to love, care, talk and WhatsApp to. And, there are enough things that put a happy smile on my face. Chocolate, cake and ice-cream. And, a flock of swallows. Seriously. I hear and see them tweet, fly and dive merrily in the morning from my kitchen window. They used to swoop down and hop about on my balcony. I reckon they had nests in the recesses of the building walls. I also have a kitchen window-view of birds of prey. I kid you not. About 3 to 4 of them glide effortlessly and encircle the city skyscrapers. I call them weekend-wonderers as they seem to fly by more on Sundays. Pretty and colourful flowers, anywhere, make me happy. As do the sweet smells of cakes and pastries. I wish I could bottle them. I love hugs. Hugs make me happy and calm. Reading a good book. Rock and roll music. Acts of kindness. Nature. Expanse. Clever jokes. Movies (some). Cute baby animals…

I’m going to focus on the can do’s, the haves and the happy-smileys. The sunrises in life…