Keeping in touch

I met up with seven school mates a fortnight ago. One of them lives in England, and it was her ‘Balik Kampung,’ the reason for the get together.

Our collective home town/kampung is Alor Setar, Kedah. We went to the same primary and secondary school until form five – St. Nicholas Convent (as did sisters’ number 1 and 2). We had two streams, Arts and Science. About 30+ students per class. The Arts lot also did commerce and bookkeeping, like ‘moi.’ And then, we went on to do form six at Sultanah Asma (where sisters number 3 and 4 studied). The Science streamers went to College Sultan Abdul Hamid (the school that brothers 1 and 2 attended). Yes, back then Alor Setar was a small town with very few schools. Some of my friends left to study in KL. Some started working.

I’m not entirely sure but most of the class of 1978 (fifth form) and 1980 (sixth form) went our separate ways and charted different paths. I lost touch with many of my class and school mates including those whom I was close with. There were five of us who hung out at each other’s houses, and cycled to places after school. I particularly remember Samila Hotel, probably the only hotel at the time. It had on its menu, Knickerbocker Glory, a colourful layered ice-cream sundae served in a tall glass. Yum. The rest of my school mates were friendlies. We got on well with each other but we didn’t socialise outside of class/school. Or I don’t recollect social activities with them apart from a few birthday parties that we attended together.

At university and at work, I made new friends, and they became my closer companions. These companions/friends and I spent a fair amount of time together. We were young adults. Mostly single, with time on our hands, a bit more money, and the want/desire to do things and go places. We had holidays together. Went to discos and dances. Watched bands perform. Had dinners regularly. Played tennis, And, enjoyed weekend games nights.

Many of them knew my mum, brothers number 1 and 2, my husband and even nephew number 2. Until today, one of my former work colleague recalls how nephew number 2 referred to horses as horsey. Hmm. Some of my work mates were at Jump – the now defunct disco – to celebrate our wedding, back in 1997. Some of my university mates attended our pool side reception, courtesy of my mum and catered by the Big Little Caterers, in Cameron Towers. Solo and/or with my husband, over the years, I/we have attended weddings, birthdays, new year celebrations, festivals, and more recently, wakes/funerals.

Back to my school mates. I reunited with them in the early 2000’s. Thanks to the advent of mobile phones, the internet, and quite possibly, social media. My school mates contacted as many of us as they could, and arranged a reunion. It was at a Chinese restaurant in Jalan Imbi. Truthfully, I cannot recall everyone who was present but I do remember thinking that it was nice but a little unusual. I didn’t feel like I connected or learnt anything much about most of them. There were many cross conversations and interruptions between questions and answers. I guess we were all excited to see each other, to be expected after a more than 20 year gap. For sure, visually, we had transformed from young girls into women with careers and families.

We promised to meet again, and we did. I did too. Not so much when I was caring for my mum due to time constraints. Also, I was/am a little less sociable, prefer my own company/space, and sluggish when it comes to connecting with people. My class and school mates, on the other hand, are exceptional at keeping in touch, both physically and virtually. There are 26 of us in our WhatsApp group, and we live/work in Alor Setar, Penang, KL, Australia, Canada, the US, and the UK. Wherever they might be, at home or travelling, they meet and go for walks in parks/gardens, organise dinners and even have holidays together. They also text and diligently share information and post photos of the on-going activities in their respective lives. They are lively and living life. There’s a genuine sense of camaraderie. Nice. And, going forward, I plan/hope to be more present for future get togethers.

Back to my university and ex-work friends. Texts and meet-ups have become less regular. You’d think getting a bunch of retirees together would be easier. Not so. Sometimes, family responsibilities, ailments, age, and other preferences/obligations take precedence. I was my mum’s carer not that long ago, and caring occupied my time and attention. Then, it required planning and effort to connect/meet up. Now, I’m a little less tepid, and slowly trying to engage and re-connect. See how…