Niece number 3 recommended it. ‘Stutz’ a 2022 documentary directed by Jonah Hill about his therapist, Dr. Phil Stutz. I like Jonah Hill. I’ve watched him in several movies, including ‘Moneyball,’ ‘War Dogs’ and more recently, ‘You People.’ He is a good actor and funny, I think.

‘Stutz’ was enlightening. It had plenty of useful ideas to help navigate life a little better. Which was one of the objectives of the documentary – to share with the world and/or viewers of Netflix, the therapy and tools that helped make Jonah’s life better.

As an aside, I’m not sure if I could talk about my deepest and darkest fears, insecurities and thoughts to people or any one person, whom I didn’t/don’t actually know. A stranger. An unknown entity. Despite him/her possessing valid professional qualifications and experience to deal with psychological or mental issues.

That said, I didn’t know my respiratory or gastrointestinal doctors either when I first made appointments with them.  I now know the respiratory specialist a little better. I like his mannerism and doctoring style. He is friendly but he’s not my friend. The gastroenterologist, well… he performed a colonoscopy and endoscopy on what I consider rather personal/intimate parts of me. I had general anaesthetic. Was out before he could start the countdown. I had entrusted my life to an individual whom I didn’t know from Adam. Except for his credentials and the hospital, he was attached to. My only contact with him was the consultation prior to the procedure. I’ve not seen him in 10 years. I’m not sure if I could pick him out in a police identification parade. If it came to that.

Why not then extend that blind trust to a psychiatrist, and give therapy a try?  Because I’m not a sharer. I don’t want nor like talking about myself. I don’t feel comfortable revealing my feelings to anyone outside my micro-mini circle of trusted confidantes. When I was younger, I was called an editor. Apparently, I edit information, and say very little. Not untrue. I discovered in later life, some downsides to being ‘verbally less amplified.‘ Still, I can’t see myself changing anytime soon.

In my head, Stutz’s ideas – Tools, Life Force, Part X and Aspects of Reality – made sense. The visualization, illustrations/note cards and accompanying explanations were relatable to situations/people in my life. And of course, the banter between Jonah and Stutz kept the 90-minute-long film interesting and entertaining.

1. Life Force is a 3-tiered pyramid on relationships. It is a guide for if/when you are lost or don’t know what to do. The bottom tier is your relationship with your physical body – exercise, diet and sleep. This contributes some 85% to your mental health. I didn’t know this. The middle is your relationship with other people. The top tier is your relationship with yourself. Connecting with your Life Force helps other things fall into place.  

2. Wait… the spoiler is Part X or the villain. The adversities/self-doubts that try to block you from achieving the change/s you want. Unfortunately, there’s no destroying Part X completely. It’s a recurring villain in your life.

3. Which is why you need to understand and accept the 3 Aspects of Reality – Pain, Uncertainty and Constant Work. These are realities that no one can escape from.  

4. The hero to Part X is the Tools.  Keeping in mind numbers 1, 2 and 3, the Tools are, in practice, the visualization exercises/note cards that help you do your best to overcome negativity/adversity and move forward in life.

Tools

String of Pearls

Each pearl is akin to an action, a thing to do. Your actions, big or small, have the same value, and are not perfect. But, being the only one who can add that next pearl on the string of life, you need to take the next action or step in order to move on.

The Shadow

It’s the part you denied and are ashamed of. What to do? Acknowledge it and make your relationship with it better. For instance an embarrassing stutter or the lack of confidence to speak up.

The Snapshot

It’s the fantasy in your head for perfection. The perfect career/ partner/life that does not exist. Remember the 3 Aspects of Reality.

The Maze  

This is mostly about people who have cheated or mistreated you. The quest for fairness makes you get stuck in the past and put your life on hold.  Wasted time and years. I so related to this.

How to rebalance and/or achieve satisfaction?  

Active Love

Visualize and concentrate all the love in the universe into your heart. Send that love to the people who wronged you. Be one with them. How can, I asked? The exercise is not for them. It’s for you to feel free, whole and to move forward.  Ok.

Radical Acceptance

This is finding the positives in even the smallest things as they all have value and offer opportunities. For instance, when I’m stuck in a traffic jam, instead of stressing out, I think of story ideas or just stuff in my head. It works, sometimes.

Grateful Flow

It’s about creating a flow of gratefulness to overcome negativity and/or penetrate the black clouds in your head. Think about small things that you are grateful for and create a process/a stream of grateful thoughts to change your mood.

Loss Processing

Most people have a hard time processing loss and grief, even before the loss occurs. The goal here is to teach yourself to move towards non-attachment and not be afraid to let go. Death/loss is not as bad as you think. Hmm.

My takeaway is to accept that there will be pain, uncertainties and a few villains in life’s path. The to-do is to use the tools/visualization exercises/note cards, if they work for you, to help you keep moving on in life.

‘Stutz’ is worth a watch.  Thank you niece number 3.