I have acquired another annoyance to my ready portfolio of medical ailments and complaints. Tinnitus. A paper crumpling kind of noise inside my right ear. I hear it. Sometimes, it’s loud and frantic. More so at night and for some reason when I’m close to running tap water. Sometimes, it’s quieter. During the day when I am busy doing stuff, and other noises drown it out. But, it’s constantly there. Real and present. Annoyingly so.

For me, the irony is I’ve always been hypersensitive to noise. Noises outside my ear, that is. It’s like I have sensors or antennas that pick up even the softest sounds and slightest vibrations. I am always reminded of Scooby Doo when his ears prick up. It’s so bad that even on the rare family holiday, no one, not my mum or my siblings, want to share a room or bed with me. They tell me they can’t breathe freely or loudly. Or stir in bed without waking me up.

My husband, poor thing, has no choice. He does his best to keep still and hold his breath. He quietly creeps out of bed to go to the bathroom at night. I hear him. Except of course for that one time that he had gone drinking with his mate. I latched the door by mistake, and didn’t hear him trying to kick it down. Anyways, my reputation is earned. It’s all true. No denials. No arguments. Hence, tinnitus is like a comeuppance. Who do I shush? Who do I glare at for making the tinniest bit of noise? Who do I blame? What do I do?

Medical professionals describe tinnitus as a perception of noise in one or both ears, despite no external sound. Currently, there are no cures or prescription drugs available to treat it… It’s safe to say that tinnitus has become a common health problem. Common causes of tinnitus include aging, ear infections, excessive earwax and medical issues [1].

The noise in my ear is not a perception. It is real. Real enough to keep me awake. Real enough for me to ask my ear to shush politely or when really annoyed to shut the ‘*%^^%”&^’ up. Real enough to make me swat my right ear and head to make it go away. Real enough to make me feel like a mad person. Alone in hearing this noise that I cannot share, show or play to proof its existence.

I didn’t realise the noise in my ear was tinnitus until after a medical examination. I just thought it was my Scooby Doo ears. A hearing exam confirmed my hearing levels were ok for my age. Ear wax was removed just in case it was a contributing factor. The takeaways I took away from the check up were as follows: Age-related hearing loss. Maybe. Ear injury. None detected. Circulatory system disorder. The attending doctor didn’t explore this possibility. No MRI or CT scans or medications was recommended. What was discussed were ways to mask the noise instead. Basically, it was about how I should learn to live with a noisy ear.

My three older sisters and a brother-in-law have tinnitus. I used to have sympathy for them. Now, I have empathy as well. I know sister number 1 uses headphones and listens to songs to quietened the noise.  I tried ear plugs. I tried pressing my ear against the pillow. Didn’t work for me. I have yet to find a solution that will silence my noisy ear. 

Admittedly, I am at that age when body parts and organs don’t work as well as they used to. Wear and tear. Genes. Lack of care. Indulgence. One or all could be factors. That said, I am the first to own up that I do and don’t take care of myself.

Exercise. I do fastidiously almost every morning. Sleep – disruptive and badly on most nights. But sleep is outside my control. I don’t care what sleep experts say and recommend. I’ve tried and failed. Believe me, I want to sleep like I am dead to the world. Diet. I’m usually quite good until I fall off the dessert wagon. I devour anything and everything sweet in sight for days on end. Yikes.

Genes. Also, outside my control. I have my mum and grandmother to thank for my arthritis and osteoporosis. I have a bad back, knees and neck. But, it’s my fingers that worry me. They are a little bendy and the joints are misshapen. They hurt and make their own cracking music. Not being able to use my computer is a real fear. I also have a dodgy stomach (IBS) and bottom (Haermorroids). And, migraine.

Apart from the above, I’m generally healthy and happy. What more can I ask for? Hmm…