Disillusioned yet happy and hopeful
I wasn’t sure when my husband first asked me if writing about my mum helped/helps me. I am a little surer now. It does. I’m constantly thinking and remembering things about my mum. Putting my all-consuming thoughts, feelings and memories in writing gives them structure and a home/blog that I can visit and revisit, when […]
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My husband asked me if it helps me writing about my mum. Yes and no. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s been over five weeks since she left. Yes, that long already. It feels a lot longer to me. I’m ok and I’m not. I’m in a state of flux. I go about doing the daily stuff. […]
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My heart continues to hurt. I miss my mum. I can’t see her. I can’t speak or share with her the things that are going on in my life. Not in person. I knew/know she couldn’t have held on much longer. She was getting more breathless and weaker by the day. It was a struggle. […]
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I asked my mum to wait for me. I touched her feet, something I rarely do, and said goodbye. I stepped out of the front door, and waved at her. She smiled, waved, and looked directly at me. She doesn’t do that when her Tamil serials are on. Her focus is usually the telly, and […]
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I count steps now. Before, I just used to walk. I like walking. More than running or cycling. One foot in front of the other, without too much thought. Now, I’m a little more deliberate. I try to hit or surpass 10,100 steps. A target set by my Samsung mobile health app. Why 10, 100? I have […]
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I can quite easily tell apart good chocolate from the mediocre and less nice ones. But I have real trouble differentiating good chocolate that I usually buy from supermarkets and sometimes speciality shops from the luxury, super-duper premium brands. As ‘they’ say, the proof is in the pudding. I’ve had some eye-wateringly priced ‘pudding’ from […]
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I’m not a chocolate snob or connoisseur. My chocolates don’t have to come from the finest hand-picked cocoa beans from somewhere along the equator. They don’t have to be single origin, bean-to-bar or artisanal. Hmm… I only just learnt these terms. I’m more of a chocolate monster. I chomp at all things chocolate. I’m happy […]
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I get it. Old is not cool. I was young once myself. I’m guilty of not giving much thought about older people. I didn’t know what they liked or needed. I can’t remember spending time with them. I didn’t have friends, who were older than me. Old people in my life were my parents, my […]
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My mum will be 91 this year. Every so often, she tells me she wants to go to her Tata or grandfather’s house. It’s a story she has created in her head. Part imagination and part memories. My mum’s Tata story has grown manifold since she first started talking about it when she became unwell […]
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I wrote about speaking up a couple of weeks ago. I still think I should when necessary. And, should have, in those two instances, when I didn’t. That said, there are situations when it’s better not to rush to speak up or say what’s really on my mind. The audience/people whom I speak to/with is a […]
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