I don’t always get the reaction I want or would like. After the time invested, detailed planning and injection of that all important, element of surprise, it fails. Not entirely as there are a few gushes. ‘Ahs’ and ‘oohs’. Certainly not the exuberant reaction I expected. It happens. A little disappointed, yes. But, certainly not deterred.

I like surprises. It’s nice to fuss and be fussed over.  Birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s Day and the many other commercially driven celebrations offer opportunities to do special things for the special people in our lives. Obviously, we don’t have to limit our thoughtfulness or imagination to only these days.

Birthdays are the best. I wish I didn’t have to wait 364 days to celebrate my birthday. I also like other people’s birthdays. To me, it’s a brilliant reason to make the birthday girl or boy feel extra special. To recognise their day and to celebrate it. To produce unforgettable memories. To buy and/or create thoughtful things. I like that one creative thought invariably sparks off another and before long, I have a plethora of ideas. The process of making the ideas work is exciting. From the decorations, invitations, buying considered presents, baking a cake or cakes to organising a meal or party.

When I feel inspired, I don’t buy things off the shelf. I like to customise and add a few of my own personal touches. It consumes a lot more time but it is extremely satisfying. There are many online shops that enable designs, texts and photos to be incorporated onto a range of products. Using the apps offered, T-shirts, bags, clocks or cushions can be personalised.  I am always eager to tear open the boxes from the online stores to see the end-products that I had a hand in creating. Being technologically challenged, I get a huge trill from these little achievements.

The most fun and challenge I have had was thinking up 80 presents, one every day, leading up to my mum’s 80^th birthday. I am not sure if my mum liked her daily surprises, I sure did. There is as much joy or more in the giving as there is in the receiving. Admittedly, it is very hard to buy presents for my mum. That said, she lights up like a Chrismas tree at the sight of dishwashing liquid, soap, toilet paper and hand tissues. This is true. Some years ago in a supermarket, my mum, who is generally quite reserved and less expressive, let out a loud and happy ‘Yippee’ when my sister handed her a bottle of dishwashing liquid. She had wanted that particular brand of washing up detergent for a long time.  We couldn’t help but kill ourselves laughing in the aisle.

It’s also enjoyable to buy no reason gifts or things for family and friends. I walk past shops and make a mental note of a to-buy list; a kaftan that would look good on one of my sisters, a Lego set that my husband would like to attempt or ‘kuih talam’ or ‘kochi santan’ (local cakes) that my mum will enjoy. At times, I have to restrain myself from buying things I think others might like just because they may have said that they liked, for instance, small earrings or layered blouses. My husband always reminds me of the Turkish Delight story. A friend, who once said she liked Turkish Delight to her parents-in-law, was presented with Turkish Delight on every visit. She is no longer delighted with Turkish Delight.

I am now quite a keen baker. A very late starter with all things kitchen-related, I like trying out new dessert recipes. As I gain more confidence and competence, I can’t help but want and expect my cakes, cookies and ice-cream to receive positive feedback. Happily for me, the reactions have been encouraging. I have had more contented bellies than not.

Be that as it may, I also appreciate and understand the understated reactions. I really do. Sometimes, I have tepid responses to gifts bought or events arranged for me. Of course, I appreciate the thought and gesture but not enough to muster unbridled excitement or the requisite energetic response. I get it. I have been on both sides of the half-hearted reaction coin. It is nothing personal. It’s people’s preferences and likes, and what’s important to them at a particular point in time.  Indeed, it’s a tall ask to expect compliments and jolly reactions all the time.