My mum is in her 80’s. She is not quite the sprightly and enthusiastic person she once was; game to travel, inquisitive and interested to try new things. These days, she is genuinely happy pottering around her condo, praying, doing her daily exercises, going for short walks around the block, reading her novels and watching TV. Changing into a saree to go out for lunch or shopping is hard work. She firmly refuses any holiday or travel that requires her to sit in a car for more than one hour due to her recurring backache.

Hence, it was a pleasant surprise when she agreed to join my sister and me for a two-night’s stay at the Banjaran Hotsprings Resort in Ipoh. Of course, it involved some preparation, but not much. The route was mapped out and rest stops were identified. Tightly secured back support belt, neck pillow, plenty of leg room, munchies and a hot water flask at the ready, the journey both ways was fairly easy. 

At the resort, she walked and explored some of the attractions, especially the Dr Fish pond and herb garden, while we rode the buggy to the rest of the sites. In Ipoh, we wandered around some shops to buy her a pair of Scholl sandals (we found a couple of Crocodile branded sandals but they weren’t suitable). We also went to a wet market where we bought Menglembu peanuts, fruits and some local sweets. My mum was captivated by the spaciousness, architecture and limestone hills-landscape in Tambun and Bercham. Despite seeming to have had a reasonably good holiday, she was happy to be back home in her own familiar space, and inferred that she wasn’t going anywhere else, anytime soon.

This made me recollect that not so long ago, when my mum was in her 70’s, we did regular road and day trips together.  Then, she was excited to visit new destinations and even revisit some. Our most memorable was a drive from KL to Butterworth (where my mum grew up as a child) and Penang (our holiday go-to when my family lived in Alor Star). We discussed the trip and decided to consciously avoid the more popular North-South highway, and instead use the trunk roads all the way to Butterworth. It was interesting for me as it was my first attempt at driving via the back roads. It was a particularly special journey for my mum because we traversed the little towns that she was familiar with, and then to her mother’s old house in Butterworth; the house that my mum lived in until she got married.

My mum, who invariably nods off to sleep the minute she gets into my car, kept awake and provided an intermittent commentary of the fruit trees and changing scenery as we drove through villages and towns. She knew so much about the places that dotted our route; from Parit Buntar, Nibong Tebal, Simpang Empat, Bukit Mertajam, Bukit Tengah to Butterworth. She excitedly recalled stories of her mother visiting a property the family had in Bukit Mertajam, and about relatives who lived in the area. It was almost surreal when we arrived at my grandma’s house. It was still there, standing amongst, a cluster of homes. It was even more surreal when my mum’s childhood friend recognised and called out her full name. The friend who lived there as a child continues to live there now with her husband and family. It was a wonderful memory-lane occasion as both friends chatted about their families and mutual friends. I discovered that my older siblings were born in my grandma’s house.  My mum even gave me a quick recount of the night she had her first born, my oldest sister.

From Butterworth, we crossed over to Penang Island where we visited the Waterfall temple, actually climbing the steps to the top of the temple. We went to the Botanical Gardens, the Reclining Buddha temple and Gurney Drive. It was a moderately busy itinerary and my mum enjoyed it all.  Back in the day, we also did day trips on Thursdays (Why Thursday? Why not, I guess) to  places like Zoo Negara, Templer Park, Putrajaya, Berjaya Hills, Lake Gardens and Fraser’s Hill. They were fun because it was just my mum and me on an adventure.

A certified home body, it has become increasingly difficult to coax my mum to leave her comfortable, safe haven. Nowadays trips are confined to our once-a-week lunch dates and doctors’ appointments. Will my mum agree to another local holiday anytime soon? She is fairly strong willed and when she sets her mind to it, who knows? To be fair, as I get older I need a little push myself to get out more, travel further afield and try new experiences.  Maybe that’s how things evolve as we get older.

I think staying healthy and active – physically and mentally is important. Being curious and interested about stuff helps. It also helps to have something to do (work, sport, hobbies etc.), things to look forward to (holidays, coffee mornings, family gatherings etc.) and people to love and love you back. Who knows how I will evolve?  Only time will tell.