Routine works for me. It gives me structure and a certain order to my day. The order might vary, albeit very slightly, depending on the circumstance, but the activities are pretty much the same. And, they, mostly, get done each day.

My days used to start with drinks of water. A check on my mum at her condominium. Listen to BFM (catch up on business and general news) and exercise for at least 45 minutes. Shower and pray. Breakfast in front of my computer. Start work before 9am. That’s back when I used to write for a living. Like clockwork. No dilly-dallying.

Check on my mum late morning. Cook and/or buy lunch for her. After lunch, while she naps, I am in my unit. Back again at 5pm’ish. I stay until 7pm’ish. Work and/or spend time with my mum. Out for dinner with my husband. Stop to say good night and give her place a once over.

The routine remained somewhat the same even after I stopped doing paid work. My health and my mum’s need for more care influenced my decision to decline professional work. But I still wanted something to do and look forward to – for myself.  A blog. A post each week. Read, listen, experience and write. While there were no longer deadlines from clients, my routine helped me achieve my personal goals during the week. The weekends were flexible and freer. I liked that I had a demarcation and balance between the weekdays and weekends.

I’m living with my mum and caring for her now. My old routine has been totally upended. There’s a lot involved in the caring process. In the last almost four weeks, the activities, order and intensity of work/stuff to do/be done, at particular times of the day, invariably forced me to create a new routine to fit my current lifestyle. More so, after the first few days of fumbling and forgetting, and getting upset with myself.

The new routine is process driven, one activity after another comprising numerous small steps/actions that help toward achieving an efficient execution. These actions, I lumped into categories, to make it less possible to forget. Forget, I still did. But I managed to get right back on track. Repetitions help with memory, to some extent, and save time as there is no procrastination on my part.

For instance, my morning routine, depending on my mum’s condition the previous night, starts when the alarm rings. First order of the day. Make bed. Draw curtain. Bathroom-stop. Brush teeth. Brush my mum’s denture that was sitting in a denture cleanser. Place denture on the side table of the 2-seater sofa, my mum’s bed at night, in the lounge area.

Remove broom stick (our security tool) from sliding door. Lights on in my mum’s bedroom. Prayers. Turn on the water heater. Prep toilet seat for my mum. Place two towels on the shower cubicle. Fresh diaper on bed for later. Draw kitchen curtains. Wash tumbler and plastic scoop, and fill tumbler with lukewarm water. This is used frequently during the day to rinse my mum’s mouth after food, meds and cough/phlegm. Put the kettle on, several times.

A chat with my mum when she’s up. Sit her upright as she tends to slide downwards into the sofa during the night. Draw lounge curtains. Tumbler and scoop to rinse mouth and hands. Denture in. Hot water to drink.  2 asthma inhalers. Tumbler and scoop to rinse mouth, and gargle throat. TV on to the devotional channel. 

Prepare breakfast. Chop a variety of fruits. A dollop of honey. Fortified drink. Heart and pain meds follow. Vitals check. Exercises to help with breathing and bowel movement. Toilet and shower-stop. Move oxygenator wherever its needed. Hook mum to oxygenator. Apply creams and ointments. Rinse mouth. Hot water to drink. Dressed. Pray. In bed. Apply eye-drops if eye itchy. Fan in the right direction. Lights and water heater off. Air humidifier on. Hugs and kisses. Ready for her morning recovery sleep. All done. The afternoon, evening and night have different sets of routine, although a little less intense.  

After a few weeks of this routine, I wondered and am wondering. While it’s all very well that I’ve found a rhythm and I’m managing alright, will it make me stop thinking? Will it make me a boring and lonely person as I’m doing the same-same, weekday and weekend, by myself?

I’m still thinking of ways to increase my efficiency. Reading up on meds and medical conditions because my mum’s situation isn’t static. If anything, it can and has fluctuated between the afternoon and evening. She keeps me on my toes. Boring? Hmm… I’ve found pockets of time that help to keep my brain ticking, which I’m pleased about. Lonely, no. I’m anti-social. Alone, yes. Particularly when my mum’s unwell, and I’ve to deal with it on my own. 

So, is my new routine working? Yes and no.