It was a coincidence. My husband and I were having dinner at the Pavilion mall in Kuala Lumpur. I couldn’t help but notice a woman, she had her back to me, snapping photo after photo of herself. She was reviewing and editing every shot, probably using an app that was intended to make you look like you wish you did. She was seated along the busy thoroughfare with a male friend. Not a care to what was happening around her. And, no conversation passed between the couple. She just continuously selfie-d.

I said coincidence because after dinner we walked to Fahrenheit mall, and into a Selfie Museum. Yes, a Selfie Museum. All my brain registered was the life-like and almost good to eat colourful display of desserts at the lobby. At that moment, I felt so excited as if I had died and gone to dessert heaven. The museum was presenting The Dessert Series.

It hit me when we entered the first of the nine presentation rooms. There were two young ladies, who obviously came prepared, for a self-indulgent selfie marathon. Striking in a yellow dress and white boots, and the other slightly mellower but still made-up to the hilt. They looked like models in the middle of a photo shoot. They posed, they laughed, and they posed some more. They interacted with the desserts. They immersed themselves in the presentations. Not an iota of self-consciousness, they were there with a purpose. To selfie with the desserts to the max. Begrudgingly, I had to admit they looked very professional. Really good. Really natural.  

And then there was me. I am not one for photographs. Not at the best of times. I felt pressured. I was there for one reason. To enjoy looking at the desserts on display. To salivate and marvel. Not be part or engage with the display. But of course, “When in Rome…,” and all that. I had to quickly ‘think’ about posing and cosying up with my favourite food group. It didn’t work, and I couldn’t make it work. I tried and failed at being a Roman in a selfie museum.

Firstly, I don’t know how to selfie. I never much cared for anything selfie related. Secondly, I don’t like taking photos or having photos taken. I never know how to pose for photos. I remember Oprah Winfrey explaining how to smile for the camera on an Ellen DeGeneres show. I have no clue how to pout or stand up straight the way models do. Or lift my head and look a certain way so that my eye bags look smaller and wrinkles disappear. And, most importantly not look like the everyday natural, anything but perfect me.

My husband’s comment that I was as stiff as my mum did not help matters. Everyone, who knows my mum, knows her standard pose for photos would pass muster in any man’s army. Straight up, arms by her side, and unsmiling. Not flattering to say the least.  A little deflated but not enough to stop me from enjoying the wonderful dessert displays. I carried on visually photographing the yummy looking but un-edible desserts to store in my head for a long, long time.

And, there were plenty to keep me satiated. Clever and artistic, each of the nine rooms had different desserts to view. Unicorn and mermaid toppings on cupcakes. A beautifully layered rainbow cake with jelly beans and cake pops. Plus two walls adorned with cake slices that were named after celebrities but with a slight twist; Keanutella Reeves, Halley Blueberry and Mariah Cherry. Funny, I thought.

Whitish puffed up marshmallow clouds hung from the ceiling. The multi-coloured macaroons and smarties were so realistic that I had to remind myself not to try to eat them. So was the bubble tea that poured out of a cup from the wall. The fluidity of the design made it all the more authentic. Also included were local kuihs such as kuih talam, kuih lapis and kuih talam keladi. The do-nut stop was a must stop as it had a donut wall, donuts from the ceiling and a donut arch. A difficult choice but my favourite was the ice cream room. Everything about the room was so much fun – from the scoops of ice-cream, waffle and cone to the sprinkles in mid-air. So convincing. So delightful.

Despite failing to take not one self-respecting selfie at the Selfie Museum, The Dessert Series gave me a treasure trove of sweet pleasures and memories. Nice.