My mum was 28 years old when she had me. A generation apart, based roughly on a 20-year time interval.  

She and I were from different generations, and we were different. But not so dissimilar that we didn’t see eye to eye and/or were embroiled in constant arguments. No, not at all. She was my mum. I was her daughter, and we just got on well together. Maybe a few sulks on my part when I was little, and didn’t get my way. Nothing consequential when I was a teenager, young adult, or older adult.

Our differences or my curiousness centred on specific areas like rituals associated with festivals and prayers. My mum was a stickler for traditional practices. For example, at every religious festival, the must-haves were new mango leaves, no matter the scarcity of mango trees in the city, that had to be hung on a string, on the front door of her condo. Also, one fresh, no-tear banana leaf with the narrow-end intact; bananas, preferably, of the Pisang Mas variety, betel leaves, and betel nuts. To be fair, it wasn’t a big ask but I never understood the relevance of the items. Just like I never understood why we did the Deepavali morning prayers before the sun rose in the morning. I still don’t understand but I know why. My mum did it because my grandmother,Tulasi, did.

We also discussed rituals in temples, particularly the absent role of women in them, the gender bias, marriage, education, and work. I’d ask questions. She’d have answers for some. Not for others. And, the one thing she repeatedly told me and reminded me was that she, her siblings, and people she knew during her time, did not ask questions, and weren’t encouraged to. Asking questions was almost a sign of insolence. In fact, there is an Indian saying that illustrates it. ‘You have teeth growing on your lips.’ Yes, it’s lost in translation but it’s surely not a compliment.

Anyways, my mum might have belonged to the Silent Generation. I cannot be sure as most of the generational studies done were mainly grounded on American society, and probably do not represent people in other countries. That said, the generational theory refers to the idea/concept that each generation has its own peculiar/unique set of characteristics. Why? Because this group of people, who were born, say between 1928 – 1945, grew up facing and sharing the same events and experiences. Hence, they might have developed similar views, perceptions, values, attitudes, and behaviours.

As a general guide, there are seven generations since 1900. Namely 1. Greatest Generation: Born 1901-1927, 2. Silent Generation: Born 1928-1945, 3. Baby Boomers : Born 1946-1964, 4. Generation X: Born 1965-1980, 5. Millennials or Gen Y: Born 1981-1996, 6. Generation Z or iGen: Born 1997-2010 and 7. Generation Alpha: Born 2010-2024[1]. The timelines are estimates, and the characteristics of each generation are generalised.  

‘The Silent Generation in the US began life in difficult conditions like the Great Depression, the Dust Bowl and economic and political uncertainty[2].’ My mum was born in 1933. Events/experiences closer to home included the Japanese Occupation in Malaya (now Malaysia) in 1941, which totally disrupted her education for good. It ruined her prospects for social-economic mobility, and my mum, who was then eight years old, her family, and the country faced fear and horrible hardships until the end of WW2.

Thereafter, on a national level, there were political, security and economic issues that were on-going for many years until and after independence in 1957. On a personal level, my mum’s family had their own financial-security problems. My grandmother Tulasi, was a single mum, who ran her own very small food business, as my grandfather passed at an early age. A factor in my mum marrying young at 15. She was thrust into adulthood, without the exposure and experience of actually living, working, and growing into an adult. She also moved from her family home in Butterworth, a town, to Kuala Ketil, an estate, that didn’t have access to amenities or much else. All in all, it wasn’t easy.

Back to the Silent Generation. ‘The circumstances surrounding their upbringing led many of this generation to adopt a cautious and conscientious behaviour[3]. They were also characterised as being thrifty, determined, traditional, loyal to their religious beliefs and families, and respectful.

My younger mum was quiet. She was generally compliant. Careful with money. Saved and scrimped for her children. She was strong-minded. My older mum bloomed in her fifties. She was still frugal. The standing joke was she could mentally tally up numbers by just adding a dollar sign. She held firmly to her religious beliefs, and was tenacious until the end.

Again, I’m not sure if the definition/label of the Silent Generation fitted my mum but the characteristics somewhat fitted her. Hmm.