Last Monday was Valentine’s Day. The Saturday after was our wedding anniversary, my husband and my 25^th silver anniversary.  Yes, it is a major milestone. Yes, we have come a long way together. And, yet oddly, I was under prepared. Or rather I didn’t have ‘real plans’ for either.

I wasn’t too bothered about Valentine’s Day. It sort of stopped being a big deal celebration in our household when we decided unilaterally that it was not a day that was personal to us. True. A manufactured day to sell more flowers (at inflated prices), chocolates, lingerie/underwear and jewellery. More tickets to cinemas. More seats at restaurants and clubs. Not untrue.

That said, I’m a sucker for presents. Especially the sweet, edible kind. Chocolates, cakes and all desserts go down well with me. Flowers, I like them too. Particularly when the arrangement is pleasing to the eye. Pastel-coloured flowers that I cannot identify except for roses and carnations. Somehow, receiving them makes me feel special. They instantly put many smiles on my face. Lift my spirits. And, brighten our home.

This year, I received flowers and chocolates.  I knew chocolates were a done deal especially with my un-putdownable dessert-monster reputation. The flowers were a complete surprise. A happy surprise made happier for me because my husband had also bought flowers for my mum and sister number 3. It was a thoughtful gesture. My mum was pleased with her first bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s Day. Obviously, she has received flowers in the past. Mainly for her birthday. To be honest, my mum is more of a fruit and washing-up liquid kind of girl. The basket of mangoes, bananas and guava got the thumbs up as did the ‘Good Maid’ washing liquid.

As for sister number 3, she was supposed to have flown home to England on 11 Feb. To be with her husband for Valentine’s Day. Didn’t happen. What happened was the four of us had a homey Valentine’s Day tea-time with four heart-shaped flapjacks, one dubious tasting heart-shaped scone and store-bought biscuits, all courtesy of sister number 3. It was delightful and memorable. Sister number 3 has been cooking and caring for our mum since she first arrived on 3 Nov for Deepavali. Yes, that long ago. She’s a kind soul, who is having a hard time, leaving mum. But, leave she must on 1 March, as she has promised. And then, there was our anniversary. We didn’t factor in sister number 3 staying on but glad we were as she made our day extra-special with bespoke decorations and multiple presents. We were also pleasantly surprised by the cards, cakes, flowers, balloons and silver and pewter-based presents we received from both sides of our families.

Actually, our original anniversary plan was for my husband and me to celebrate it with my mum. Order takeaway and probably watch ‘Paddington’ again since she has taken a liking to the little bear. I or rather we hadn’t considered much else beyond that. Our hesitance was largely due my mum’s health. She has good and bad days, and we didn’t want to be away when it’s less good. The deal with sister number 3 is wherever we go we should be able to return in less than an hour. So, back we went to Glenmarie Hotel and Resort in Shah Alam, which is about 30 minutes away. The very same place that we had cancelled a reservation made on 18 Jan, when my mum was under the weather.

Hotel. Done. Dinner reservation. Done. Presents. Hmm… A difficult one. It’s an irony how the older we get, the more we can afford, the less we want. At least, that’s how we feel. Maybe it’s not an irony as we’ve already bought each other or bought ourselves all the stuff I/we wanted for the numerous birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Days, Deepavalis and Christmases we have celebrated. The older we get, the more we’ve lived through these occasions. Anyways, the point was I didn’t know what to get my husband except for the usual suspect. Clothes. Which he repeatedly told me he didn’t want.

So, what to do? Creative or desperate thinking cap on. I decided to search and select 25 photos to represent our 25 married years together. Not easy as there were/are so many. I picked my favourites, which thankfully, I knew would also be my husband’s. Photos that would trigger distant and recent memories, and unmistakable knowing looks. The photo choices made for a happy and nostalgic re-visit of our joint quarter of a century of experiences and growth. We invariably spoke about the early years of our marriage, places we visited together, personal and professional successes and challenges, family and friends. And life, generally.

On balance. We’ve done alright. Now, for the next 25 years.