Disillusioned yet happy and hopeful
I fell off while standing on the ledge of a drain. This happened a couple of weeks ago near Corus Hotel. It was raining. I had already climbed over the drain and was on the ledge when I noticed a puddle of water where my foot/feet would invariably land, if I walked on. As I […]
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I listen to the radio most mornings. A couple of weeks ago whilst reviewing the global markets, the announcer pointed out that the Nikkei 225 was closed for Mountain Day. Yes, Mountain Day. I smiled. Aww. Nice. When I think of the Land of the Rising Sun, I think of salarymen, in dark suits, working […]
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Today is three months since my mum passed. I miss her. The previous Sunday, my husband and I went to see my mum at her final resting place, with her new headstone. It was erected on the Wednesday before. That was her wish/decision. To be buried. To have the customary final rites performed for her. […]
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I met up with two of my university mates recently. It was my first social meet up since my mum passed. I have consciously avoided speaking, seeing, or spending time with anyone outside my family. The last gathering that involved family members was about nine weeks ago just before sister number 3 left for England. […]
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Last week my husband and I went on a road trip, of sorts. We didn’t spend too much time planning it. Our destination was the Belum Rainforest in Gerik, Perak. We wanted a stopover. Somewhere half way between Kuala Lumpur and Gerik. Ipoh, the capital of Perak, was the obvious choice as it was close […]
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I received a WhatsApp message about celebrating life. About appreciating and enjoying the moments and times spent with family, friends and loved ones. It was a nice message, and one that I agree with. But did I? Do we? Make time, enough time to communicate. Be physically and mentally present. Care and love. Create and […]
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I wasn’t sure when my husband first asked me if writing about my mum helped/helps me. I am a little surer now. It does. I’m constantly thinking and remembering things about my mum. Putting my all-consuming thoughts, feelings and memories in writing gives them structure and a home/blog that I can visit and revisit, when […]
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My husband asked me if it helps me writing about my mum. Yes and no. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s been over five weeks since she left. Yes, that long already. It feels a lot longer to me. I’m ok and I’m not. I’m in a state of flux. I go about doing the daily stuff. […]
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My heart continues to hurt. I miss my mum. I can’t see her. I can’t speak or share with her the things that are going on in my life. Not in person. I knew/know she couldn’t have held on much longer. She was getting more breathless and weaker by the day. It was a struggle. […]
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I count steps now. Before, I just used to walk. I like walking. More than running or cycling. One foot in front of the other, without too much thought. Now, I’m a little more deliberate. I try to hit or surpass 10,100 steps. A target set by my Samsung mobile health app. Why 10, 100? I have […]
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