Disillusioned yet happy and hopeful
I met up with two of my university mates recently. It was my first social meet up since my mum passed. I have consciously avoided speaking, seeing, or spending time with anyone outside my family. The last gathering that involved family members was about nine weeks ago just before sister number 3 left for England. […]
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I’m thinking. I’m questioning. I am consumed with thoughts, and questions. My headspace is full. I can’t sleep or stay asleep for too long. I have stare-into-space-moments. But I still get on and do most of the chores that need doing. I’m alright. I’m more alright than not, which is good. In fact, my husband […]
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I wasn’t sure when my husband first asked me if writing about my mum helped/helps me. I am a little surer now. It does. I’m constantly thinking and remembering things about my mum. Putting my all-consuming thoughts, feelings and memories in writing gives them structure and a home/blog that I can visit and revisit, when […]
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My husband asked me if it helps me writing about my mum. Yes and no. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s been over five weeks since she left. Yes, that long already. It feels a lot longer to me. I’m ok and I’m not. I’m in a state of flux. I go about doing the daily stuff. […]
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I asked my mum to wait for me. I touched her feet, something I rarely do, and said goodbye. I stepped out of the front door, and waved at her. She smiled, waved, and looked directly at me. She doesn’t do that when her Tamil serials are on. Her focus is usually the telly, and […]
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My search for a sun shirt shone more light on sun protection than I had expected. There’s so much useful information about sunscreens, solar Ultra-Violet Index (UVI), and sun-related diseases that I wished I had bothered to read or researched much earlier instead of assuming I knew enough. I was smug. Why? I use sunscreen. […]
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Niece number 3’s stories about her pet-children, Coco the dog and Zupa the cat, made me smile and go awww. My husband also smiled when I related the antics of these two animal species that are not usually friends or friendly. I especially liked the photo of Zupa waiting for Coco to return to the dog-and-cat […]
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Last week I wrote about losing my jolly. I’d identified the jolly stealers in writing in the hope of not thinking and giving them more brain space than I already have, and do. All in the hope of getting back my jolly. While I sort of knew somethings that could help, I still searched on […]
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I’ve lost my jolly, and I want it back. I know the reasons for my general melancholy. It started with Covid and the restricted movement controls in 2020. Holidays became scarce. The rigmarole involved in organising any form of travel was a deterrent, as was the infectious disease itself. I remember the arduous loops my […]
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I watched one. Then another, and before I knew it, I was searching for holiday/Christmas movies on Netflix. The soppy and predictable with happy endings variety. No shooting, killing, or maiming. No big companies or individuals with money, power and position abusing and rough riding everyday, regular people. No pain or misery. None of the […]
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