Life’s luxuries

February 3, 2025.Reading time 6 minutes.

I received a text about life’s ‘real’ luxuries from one of my chat groups. ‘Real’ as in not the things that some people would consider or think of like sports cars, mansions, and fancy handbags. Around the same time, brother number 2 shared the same list with the family. Hmm. The contents of the list […]

Independence

January 13, 2025.Reading time 6 minutes.

It’s been just over four weeks. I haven’t fallen off the wagon, yet. Pat on the back. Well done. This is the longest I’ve managed to voluntarily, not begrudgingly, not eat as much desserts like I always have, all my life. Seriously, I have been on a protein trail since my last medical screening. Even […]

Space Hopper

December 2, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

She had me at the opening paragraph. ‘The loss of my mother is like missing a tooth: an absence I can feel at all times, but one I can hide as long I keep my mouth shut. And, so I rarely talk about her.’ Helen Fisher’s Space Hopper resonated with me. The book is about […]

That’s life

August 19, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

Today is three months since my mum passed. I miss her. The previous Sunday, my husband and I went to see my mum at her final resting place, with her new headstone. It was erected on the Wednesday before. That was her wish/decision. To be buried. To have the customary final rites performed for her. […]

Meet up

August 5, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

I met up with two of my university mates recently. It was my first social meet up since my mum passed. I have consciously avoided speaking, seeing, or spending time with anyone outside my family. The last gathering that involved family members was about nine weeks ago just before sister number 3 left for England. […]

Finality

July 29, 2024.Reading time 7 minutes.

I’m thinking. I’m questioning. I am consumed with thoughts, and questions. My headspace is full. I can’t sleep or stay asleep for too long. I have stare-into-space-moments. But I still get on and do most of the chores that need doing. I’m alright. I’m more alright than not, which is good. In fact, my husband […]

It’s ok…

June 24, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

My husband asked me if it helps me writing about my mum. Yes and no. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s been over five weeks since she left. Yes, that long already. It feels a lot longer to me. I’m ok and I’m not. I’m in a state of flux. I go about doing the daily stuff. […]

Missing my Ama

June 17, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

My heart continues to hurt. I miss my mum. I can’t see her. I can’t speak or share with her the things that are going on in my life. Not in person. I knew/know she couldn’t have held on much longer. She was getting more breathless and weaker by the day. It was a struggle. […]

My mum

June 10, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

I asked my mum to wait for me. I touched her feet, something I rarely do, and said goodbye. I stepped out of the front door, and waved at her. She smiled, waved, and looked directly at me. She doesn’t do that when her Tamil serials are on. Her focus is usually the telly, and […]

Old is not cool

April 22, 2024.Reading time 6 minutes.

I get it. Old is not cool. I was young once myself. I’m guilty of not giving much thought about older people. I didn’t know what they liked or needed. I can’t remember spending time with them. I didn’t have friends, who were older than me. Old people in my life were my parents, my […]