Disillusioned yet happy and hopeful
England has always been and still is a special place/destination for me. Weirdly, when I was growing up in Alor Setar, I used to either dream or imagine about sycamore trees in England. Yes, weird. Why? Because I didn’t know what a sycamore tree was or looked like. And, I didn’t know what England was […]
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I’m not as excited as I used to be. Mustering enthusiasm seems to require more effort and imagination. There is less get up and go. A bit of done that, seen that and been there. I guess my husband and I have done a fair bit of travelling, uprooting, and trying different things in our lifetime. […]
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My mum would have been 91 this Friday. It’s not wishful thinking. It’s not a lament. It’s just … I miss her. I’m so grateful to have had my mum for as long as I did. 90 years and 8 months is pretty good innings, by any measure. I can’t ask for more, and honestly, […]
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Last week I wrote about my mum and the Silent Generation. I wasn’t sure if my mum fitted the definition of that generation but the characteristics, generalised as they were, seemed to have generally fitted her. I’m still unsure because generational studies were mainly done in the United States. That said, as I am the […]
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I fell off while standing on the ledge of a drain. This happened a couple of weeks ago near Corus Hotel. It was raining. I had already climbed over the drain and was on the ledge when I noticed a puddle of water where my foot/feet would invariably land, if I walked on. As I […]
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I met up with two of my university mates recently. It was my first social meet up since my mum passed. I have consciously avoided speaking, seeing, or spending time with anyone outside my family. The last gathering that involved family members was about nine weeks ago just before sister number 3 left for England. […]
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Last week my husband and I went on a road trip, of sorts. We didn’t spend too much time planning it. Our destination was the Belum Rainforest in Gerik, Perak. We wanted a stopover. Somewhere half way between Kuala Lumpur and Gerik. Ipoh, the capital of Perak, was the obvious choice as it was close […]
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I received a WhatsApp message about celebrating life. About appreciating and enjoying the moments and times spent with family, friends and loved ones. It was a nice message, and one that I agree with. But did I? Do we? Make time, enough time to communicate. Be physically and mentally present. Care and love. Create and […]
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The plan was to post this story on 20th May. It didn’t happen. I trashed it. Last week, I retrieved it from the ‘bin.’ Mongolia was the holiday my husband and I were looking forward to since March this year. We researched and identified tour companies, flights, and hotels. We finalised our bookings when sister […]
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I wasn’t sure when my husband first asked me if writing about my mum helped/helps me. I am a little surer now. It does. I’m constantly thinking and remembering things about my mum. Putting my all-consuming thoughts, feelings and memories in writing gives them structure and a home/blog that I can visit and revisit, when […]
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