Disillusioned yet happy and hopeful
Today is three months since my mum passed. I miss her. The previous Sunday, my husband and I went to see my mum at her final resting place, with her new headstone. It was erected on the Wednesday before. That was her wish/decision. To be buried. To have the customary final rites performed for her. […]
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It looked like a ghost town. Dark. Doors shuttered. Quiet. There was barely anyone around. My husband and I walked around and looked for places that were open. It was, after all, 7.30pm on a Saturday. Time for dinner, yes. We found three outlets that were operating. Number one served food, and the club’s band […]
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I’m thinking. I’m questioning. I am consumed with thoughts, and questions. My headspace is full. I can’t sleep or stay asleep for too long. I have stare-into-space-moments. But I still get on and do most of the chores that need doing. I’m alright. I’m more alright than not, which is good. In fact, my husband […]
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Last week my husband and I went on a road trip, of sorts. We didn’t spend too much time planning it. Our destination was the Belum Rainforest in Gerik, Perak. We wanted a stopover. Somewhere half way between Kuala Lumpur and Gerik. Ipoh, the capital of Perak, was the obvious choice as it was close […]
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I received a WhatsApp message about celebrating life. About appreciating and enjoying the moments and times spent with family, friends and loved ones. It was a nice message, and one that I agree with. But did I? Do we? Make time, enough time to communicate. Be physically and mentally present. Care and love. Create and […]
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The plan was to post this story on 20th May. It didn’t happen. I trashed it. Last week, I retrieved it from the ‘bin.’ Mongolia was the holiday my husband and I were looking forward to since March this year. We researched and identified tour companies, flights, and hotels. We finalised our bookings when sister […]
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I wasn’t sure when my husband first asked me if writing about my mum helped/helps me. I am a little surer now. It does. I’m constantly thinking and remembering things about my mum. Putting my all-consuming thoughts, feelings and memories in writing gives them structure and a home/blog that I can visit and revisit, when […]
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My heart continues to hurt. I miss my mum. I can’t see her. I can’t speak or share with her the things that are going on in my life. Not in person. I knew/know she couldn’t have held on much longer. She was getting more breathless and weaker by the day. It was a struggle. […]
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I count steps now. Before, I just used to walk. I like walking. More than running or cycling. One foot in front of the other, without too much thought. Now, I’m a little more deliberate. I try to hit or surpass 10,100 steps. A target set by my Samsung mobile health app. Why 10, 100? I have […]
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I can quite easily tell apart good chocolate from the mediocre and less nice ones. But I have real trouble differentiating good chocolate that I usually buy from supermarkets and sometimes speciality shops from the luxury, super-duper premium brands. As ‘they’ say, the proof is in the pudding. I’ve had some eye-wateringly priced ‘pudding’ from […]
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