I wish 2021 will be nothing like 2020. I miss my life before Covid-19. I want that life back. Practically, I know that’s not going to happen. Sigh. Not for the most part of 2021, and maybe even beyond. At least not in Malaysia. Not yet.

According to news reports, the government has secured a deal with Pfizer for 12.8 million doses of the vaccine. This will cover 20 per cent of the population. With AstraZeneca – 6.4 million doses for 10 per cent of the population. With Covax – enough doses for another 10 per cent of the population. Covax is an alliance of countries pooling their resources to ensure the equitable global distribution of Covid-19 vaccines.  There are also negotiations with China’s Sinovac and CanSino, and Russia’s Gamaleya Institute to secure additional vaccine supplies. All in all, there will be enough vaccines for more than 80 per cent or 26.5 million of the population.[1].

In fact, under the Pfizer deal, one million doses are expected in the first quarter of the year. Vaccinations are due to begin in February, and the balance doses that require ultra-cold storage, will arrive in subsequent quarters [2]. The earliest to be vaccinated will be the Prime Minister, front-liners and then high-risk groups like the elderly and those with non-communicable diseases and chronic respiratory diseases.

Vaccines are coming. I am comforted. Despite the rising numbers of positive infections in the country. I can see the light. That said, while waiting for things to resume some semblance of normalcy, I wish…

I wish I could feel safe and comfortable about going out anywhere with, and amongst people – holidays, shopping centres, restaurants or aeroplanes. People, who are going about their everyday lives – working, travelling, delivering, serving, eating, walking and playing. Who are probably, feeling equally unsafe and uncomfortable in my presence. I don’t want to avoid and make my displeasure known when people don’t practice the 1-meter physical distancing rule and other SOPs. It’s a little stressful.

I wish I could wear my face instead of a mask on my face. It’s hot and sweaty. It makes breathing difficult. I know I must wear one to help minimise the virus risk to me, the community and country. I just wish it won’t be for too long.

I wish I don’t have to wash my hands so frequently and for so long. My hands are wrinkled, dry and raw. I touch. I wash. I touch again. I wash again. Its cleaning-overload. My poor hands need a holiday from soaps and sanitizers.  I wish I don’t have to wash and/or wipe down everything I buy and bring into our home. The process takes longer than the actual shop. I also wish my husband and I don’t have to practice the 3-day rule of placing non-dairy and non-frozen foods on our ‘quarantine’ floor area.

I wish I won’t need a going-out checklist. My handbag that contains money, credit cards, hand sanitizer, and my mobile with the MySejahtera app that is required to register my entry into shopping centres, restaurants, and retail outlets.  And, my mask.  

Strangely, I wish I could touch and feel things. Indiscriminately. Willy-nilly. Like I used to. Without a care or thought to the numerous invisible infectious germs, bacteria and virus that have been residing and are still residing everywhere. I don’t want to think about what’s lurking out there.  Don’t get me wrong. I am careful about Covid-19. I am a stickler for personal hygiene. I wash and/or sanitize my hands way too much. I just miss being less concerned.

I want to let my fingers touch things and surfaces outside our home. During the last Christmas shopping trip, I wanted to leave as quickly as I walked in. I was reluctant to touch the clothes. Reluctant to try on the clothes for size. Reluctant to remove my clothes and hang them on the rail. Reluctant to open the door to the changing room. Sigh. I want my shopping experience to be how it was before. Not rushed. Enjoyable. Also, I don’t want to use used (sustainability and all that) tissues and kitchen towels as buffers to operate lifts, zebra crossings, open doors and pull-out chairs to sit on.

I wish my sisters can visit. It’s been more than a year now since their last trip to Malaysia. And, my biggest wish. I wish I could hug and kiss my mum. Without feeling like I’m going to transfer the dreaded virus to her. She has been staying in her condo, with minimum and/or almost no contact with the outside world. As her carer, I am responsible for her well-being.  It would be really nice to be with and speak with my mum sans mask, and give her cuddles and proper kisses.

Soon…